sreido said: I'm in a relationship right now. He came out as aromantic to me. Its been one of my dreams to have someone desire me the way I desire them romantically. Hugging hand holding cheekkissing and all. But now it's obviously not much of a possibility with him. He said he wants to do those things with me to make me happy and I respect that and am very flattered but I don't want him to do it just to keep me happy for a couple reasons: he gets physically uncomfortable because of it and because I would fe
I believe your ask was cut off, but regardless: have you talked to him about this and how he feels about you? I think these sort of things should be addressed within the relationship, rather than coming to a third party. However, it’s important to figure out whether he’s romance-repulsed or simply romance-indifferent. If he gets physically uncomfortable, he’s probably romance-repulsed and you shouldn’t pressure him to do romantic actions with you, because no one should have to do anything romantically or sexually that makes them feel uncomfortable or icky. Talk to him about it. Talk about what his limits are. If possible, even make a list of things you’d like to do and have him make a list of things he’d like to do or at least be willing to do. Know his hard limits so that you don’t push past that point.
It could be, though, that you’re simply incompatible orientation-wise. This is something that hurts a lot, but sometimes is unavoidable. It might be better if you seek out a friendship or QP relationship with him instead, if you both can’t deal with budging a little. And I emphasize 'both' here too: remember relationships, especially ones that are mixed orientation, require a lot of communication and meeting half way on both sides. You might have to compromise or reexamine some things you want in a relationship. That is okay, and something you have to do regardless of whether you’re with someone who is aromantic or the most romantic person in the world. Remember: communicate, communicate, communicate. Mixed orientation relationships are extremely difficult, but they’re possible, if both parties are willing to be totally open with their desires, wants, and needs (and distinguish between that, too - is hand holding and cheek kissing and such something you want, or something you need in order to feel happy and healthy in a relationship?).