This is a blog for aromantic asexuals, aromantic sexuals, grey-romantics, lithromantics, and anyone else on the aromantic spectrum. We try our best to be inclusive and will offer advice to anyone who comes to our ask box. Check out our FAQ here if you're confused by any of the terminology we use.

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believe it or not, the majority of non-straight people will not get mad that you don’t know a lesser known identity. it’s your attitude about not knowing the term which angers us:

  *  when you think we are obligated to educate you about what it means; if you’re reading this post, then you probably have internet access some of the time and thus can look it up yourself

  *  when you call it a superfluous special snowflake identity and call them a different identity instead; choosing labels are a personal process that helps people feel comfortable with their sexualities and you are overly nosy and entitled to think your opinion is relevant

  *  when you reject the concept of the identity, whether that means thinking people can’t lack sexual attraction, or thinking that romantic+sexual attraction have to go together; people know their bodies and their attractions better than you ever can and it’s just plain silly to think you’re so telepathic

  *  when you insist that they’re not that identity because you have some stereotype about them; if you think “you can’t be aromantic because you’re so emotional” or “you can’t be demisexual because you’ve had casual sex before”, then you are trying to carry the definitions of orientations beyond their original meanings of kinds of attraction and making inaccurate generalizations

also, keep in mind that someone ranting to their friend or on their blog about how they always have to explain their identity does not mean they are blaming others for not knowing about it. of course lesser known and new identities aren’t knowledge people are born with. but that doesn’t make it any less frustrating.

(via psychetimelapse)

Apr 19th, 2014


 imagearomantic people are wonderful

imagedemiromantic people are beautiful

imagegrey-aro people are amazing

image lithromantic people are stunning

imagewtfromantic people are gorgeous


(via aroramblings)

Apr 18th, 2014

thelittlesel asked: Is the aro-spectrum flag decided or are we still, like, divided? Does everyone have the same flag? I just find it really confusing...


We do not all have an agreed upon flag. The first and sometimes most comon flag is this one created by

I explain some of the issues with that flag in this post.

here are two flags that have been suggested by people in the flag discussion on aroplane, the aromantic forum:

My favorite flag is the one I use in my sidebar and icon. It was suggested by a tumblr user (I can’t remember the url I’m sorry) and I find it to be the most inclusive and generally the one I like best.

(note that the flags aren’t meant to normally have words on them, I did that just to show what the stripes are meant to represent)

Apr 17th, 2014


I’m starting to get instantly angry every time somebody equates the queer movement with the idea that it’s all about the LOVE. Only romantic love, naturally. *rolls eyes*

The queer movement can be so much more than some shitty ‘same love’ soundbite. When people only emphasize the idea of trying to fit into some ideal romantic, monogamous relationship, they ignore the potential for queer people to question the underlying assumptions of heteronormativity, amatonormativity and gender stereotypes. Surely we can do better than trying to mimic straight romantic relationships?

I don’t talk about my own orientation on this blog a lot, but as someone who identifies as both aromantic and gay it really irritates me when people act like being gay/queer is ONLY ever about love. It can be for some people, yes, but saying that it always is totally erases aromantic gay/queer people.

Apr 16th, 2014


I came up with a term
it’s where you take something that society deems romantic and make it platonic

(via incompleteicarus)

Apr 15th, 2014

Anonymous asked: Is there a word for people who are aromantic but would want more than one partner? I guess like 'polyamory'... but without the 'amory' part of the relationship?

'Amor' is Latin for love - all types of love. So I really don't see why it would need to be a distinct word for aromantics. If you don't feel comfortable with the “-amory” part, though, you can just use poly.

Apr 15th, 2014

Anonymous asked: Oh, another question - regardless of orientation, what is a nice way to tell someone you just want to be friends while still letting them know that you want to be really close with them. Like, without making them feel like "friend" is a synonym for "not very close"? How can I explain that I want to be really really close friends? Thank you!

Maybe utilize the term queer/quirkyplatonic? But I would also say remember that you can’t force a friendship on people.

Apr 15th, 2014

Anonymous asked: Hey, I'm a girl and for a long time I considered myself bi...& I am attracted to both sexes sexually. But when it comes to romance, I can't tell whether I am aro or not. I become highly attracted to my friends & love them very deeply, but this includes all my friends, even those who don't love me back romantically, like my gay male friend. How can I tell whether I just want to be super super close friends or whether I actually want "romance?"

I would examine your feelings and be honest with yourself about what kind of relationship you want from these people. If your feelings towards them are more “wow, I really want to be best friends with them” then you probably aren’t experiencing romantic attraction. If, however, your fantasies range more on the “taking them on dates, getting married, kissing” side of the spectrum, it’s probably romantic attraction.

Apr 15th, 2014


to say that “platonic sex isnt a thing” or to joke about people on tumblr wanting sex or other physical affection in a platonic way implies that sex is inherently romantic and romanticism is inherently sexual. lets throw aromantic people and asexual people under the bus. super fun. LOVING this.

(via aromanticachilles)

Apr 14th, 2014

"It also made me realize how much people diminish and poo-poo the real power and strength of female friendship, especially between women, which is either supposed to descend into some kind of male lesbian love scene porn fantasy or be dismissed as meaningless or be re-written as a story of competition. Here’s the truth: friendships between women are often the deepest and most profound love stories, but they are often discussed as if they are ancillary, “bonus” relationships to the truly important ones. Women’s friendships outlast jobs, parents, husbands, boyfriends, lovers, and sometimes children….

…This was a snapshot of what my own deep friendships could lead to: transformation. I saw, on that afternoon, that it’s possible to transcend the limits of your skin in a friendship. That a friend can take you out of the boxes you’ve made for yourself and burn them up. This kind of friendship is not a frivolous connection, a supplementary relationship to the ones we’re taught and told are primary – spouses, children, parents. It is love.”

from Emily Rapp’s essay on the power of female friendship. (via wickedgirlssavingourselves)

(Source: robinwasserman, via scapetheserpentstongue)

Apr 13th, 2014