believe it or not, the majority of non-straight people will not get mad that you don’t know a lesser known identity. it’s your attitude about not knowing the term which angers us:
* when you think we are obligated to educate you about what it means; if you’re reading this post, then you probably have internet access some of the time and thus can look it up yourself
* when you call it a superfluous special snowflake identity and call them a different identity instead; choosing labels are a personal process that helps people feel comfortable with their sexualities and you are overly nosy and entitled to think your opinion is relevant
* when you reject the concept of the identity, whether that means thinking people can’t lack sexual attraction, or thinking that romantic+sexual attraction have to go together; people know their bodies and their attractions better than you ever can and it’s just plain silly to think you’re so telepathic
* when you insist that they’re not that identity because you have some stereotype about them; if you think “you can’t be aromantic because you’re so emotional” or “you can’t be demisexual because you’ve had casual sex before”, then you are trying to carry the definitions of orientations beyond their original meanings of kinds of attraction and making inaccurate generalizations
also, keep in mind that someone ranting to their friend or on their blog about how they always have to explain their identity does not mean they are blaming others for not knowing about it. of course lesser known and new identities aren’t knowledge people are born with. but that doesn’t make it any less frustrating.